Before you read this and then halfway in decide you wish you never wasted your time on this post, I’m putting up a warning: This post is another rant.
I have a cousin who will likely get very many of my rant blogs to be about her because she is a twat. She and I are almost the same age and were forced to grow up together because we lived (and still live) in the same house and still share a bedroom. As if it’s not bad enough that I’m 27 and still sharing my space and being policed with everything I do by my family, this idiot thinks she can have her way with the rest of us (i.e. me and my other younger cousins). She acts like she’s Queen Bee and has the audacity to order us around and make demands about everything even things that don’t involve her AT ALL. However, I’ve grown to filter her out like background noise and have gotten used to *almost* all her bullshit. The deepest our conversations will ever go is concerning family matters that are not really “personal” but those that we’re stuck with since we’re both part of the family. I avoid her and her hideous personality like the plague because she has the ability to instantly put me in a bad mood. (Yes, she is that bad. Although, I mean you can’t blame her entirely. It’s the fault of terrible genetics. Her mother is such an epic bitch, I won’t even go into that right now because I might not stop.)
Has avoiding this hateful human being helped? Yes, yes it has. Does she still find *new* ways to annoy me beyond acceptable levels? Fuck yes, she does.
I am the kind of person whose conflict styles fall under accommodating and avoiding. That being said, I normally let a lot of shit go just because I can’t be bothered to deal with all the emotions associated and I keep doing that until one day I explode. I get it, totally unhealthy but I normally confront those I feel I have a good dynamic with or those who won’t just stand their ground and immediately disregard whatever I have to say – in other words those who technically give two fucks about whatever I had to display/say.
My cousin, she is not one of those people so my approach to conflict with he is always 100% avoidance. She handles conflict with me by competing which gets any argument nowhere which is why I totally just avoid it.
So the past few months I have shut my eyes, my ears and my mouth and I have watched her raid my wardrobe and wear everything of mine (even whatever is bloody new with price tags still intact) – without my permission of course-and then lying about it to my face when I ask her. Actually, lying to my face is one thing, she gets defensive and settles the conflict in her own aggressive manner complete with the “I couldn’t care less” attitude. Basically, 3/4 of my wardrobe is either missing or worn out right now because she has worn everything repeatedly and when I ask her about it she denies having whatever item of clothing I notice is missing. Her wardrobe is a pigsty so when I ask her if she has something that belongs to me, she denies it only because she knows I would never be able to find it in her pile of mess. Now, unless there’s a poltergeist living in our room, she’s got my stuff.
I kept all these frustrations with her bottled up and said nothing for months but this morning was the last straw. 2 weeks ago, I bought a lovely, super comfortable, navy blue chiffon blouse. I had it hung in my cupboard and wanted to try it on this morning to see if this is what I would wear for Eid (islamic feast/holiday) on Monday morning. I opened my cupboard and my blouse was gone. I looked for the keys to hers and found my blouse sitting on top of her mess. She had worn it to work the previous day. I knew that because it was still on the surface of her shit pile. I texted her immediately and her response was “Nope. I didn’t wear it. I just tried it on. Why the fuck would I want to wear your clothes?” I CAN TOTALLY TELL YOU WORE IT THE WHOLE DAY IT’S FUCKING STAINED WITH KETCHUP! I haven’t seen her all day. I’ve been at work but I know one of two things will happen 1) I will go back into my avoidance nature or 2)this will progress and I already know how it’ll end. She’ll get super rude and say nasty shit and when I respond, she’ll break down and cry and the rest of the family will huddle around her because somehow they’re terrified of her and need her approval but they walk all over me and my politeness and naturally, will make me out to be the bad guy.
I’m not against ever sharing any of my things with anyone (I let my cousins have anything they want at any time because the difference is that they do it and it’s not toooo often so it wears nothing out and they put all my things back). I’m just particularly unhappy about sharing with her because we have had a history of never being allowed to ever touch her stuff – a rule she specifically set around all her things and one that we respected. Meanwhile she carelessly just uses everyone else’s things. It is unacceptable and it needs to stop but I have no idea what to do with this fucktard anymore. Does anyone want her? I can send her to you – for free. I’ll even pay for shipping expenses. You can go ahead and stuff her in a cupboard under your stairs if you have one.